Grandparents! Mine were so special and I loved them dearly. They looked after me and my siblings along with their own teenagers at a time when we really needed them. Today, just like in all other days, I glanced at their photo which sits right next to the computer here. For strength, yes. For endurance, that's true. For comfort, that is for sure.
My grandfather was a Baptist minister. He raised all of his children to be God-fearing. Serving God kept all of us strong in the days of the 60's and early 70's. He had a church built from the ground which was in the backyard from the house. We felt special, we felt protected. Nothing would happen to us, why should it? We learned about getting on our knees to pray whenever something came up. Do you remember the days of Lifebouy soap? We sho nuff had some Lifebouy soap making the bathroom smelling good when we came out. Also, when it was thunder and lightening, where do you think we were? On our knees. On Sunday morning before church services started, on our knees. However, as in some families the young folx don't always stick to Bible teachings as was such the case with some of my aunts and uncles.
Let me tell you about my grandma that I did not know. She married my grandpa in 1917 in Whiteville, NC. As a child, she attended a AME Zion Church in Whiteville. Later, she was educated at the Bouge Colored School in Hailsboro, NC and continued her education in Whiteville. (Another Rosa Parks, y'all)
They married in 1934, Catherine and Wilmer Wright. For more than fifty-six years, this union remained. You ready for the amount of chillen? No, not 10, no , not 13, but a whooping 17! Yeah, I say the same thing, you say, wow... Yet, she never complained. She was diligent at home and in the church.
They left behind fifty-two grandchildren, fifty-three great grandchildren and one great-great grand-child. No, of course there are more grandchildren and great grandchildren today in the nest. But they would have been able to handle us all.
On Christmas Day they made sure all of us got gifts. Yes, all of us. From the oldest child to the youngest grandchild. We would just marvel at our scarf or small bottle of perfume. It was the thought that counted. Thanks, Grandma.
Grandmother always waited hand and foot on the Reverend. When he wanted biscuits he got em. When he wanted coffee in a cup with a saucer, he got it. When he wanted EVERYTHING, HE GOT EVERYTHING,OKAY, that was my grandfather. But you know what? They don't make em like that today. Today's grandparents are a lot younger and they are raising their grandkids as friends, no discipine.
Case in point: I know a young teen whose grandmother raised him with resentment and he knows it. She could care less what he does in the streets cause he is like a friend to her. Where is the discipline? It is not there. I provided the discipline in the one year that I got to know him.
Grandparents are special. If you have living grandparents, always appreciate their wisdom. If not cherish the good memories. I will continue to look at my grandparents, their smiling, beaming faces here in front of me as I express my words of appreciation to them. I look to their faces also to keep me out of trouble, not to act rashly, but to always appreciate their divine patience in all that I do.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
A Grand Tour of Pier 3 (Part II)
Yes, the bedroom is surrounded by boxes that are packed awaiting a home. The boxes are being patient, full of sneakers, boots, jeans up to the ceiling. The dresser top is filled with Victoria Secret-which I used to charge up on the credit card and then I would give some of it away. ( how nice) The dresser is also filled with nice perfumes and lotions. I have a lot of things to give away that are in the bedroom that are boxed. Whenever a place becomes available, the boxes will start a walkin cause they got feet, they really do. As a matter of fact, they will run. Oh, also in the bedroom, I have a small closet that is full of handbags-from Polo Sport to Coach..no lie, hit the Goodwill, you will find a good Polo Sport or a Coach..,.forget Macy's. (no macy's munnie here!) My 20 inch tv that I keep on all night sometimes. I only watch it when I am ironing or getting dressed in the am or preparing for bed at night. Did I mention that I had a king size bed that takes up the whole room? Mother got it from a seondhand store...I can walk around it, it is so huge. All I need is a single bed for I already threw the mattress out to the dumpster. Five years old, bedroom furniture got to go! I guess you wonder where I sleep, huh. You got it, on the living room floor, on pillows, but it's comfy for me right about now. That's the next step outside of the door! I lived in a room before. I love my living room surrounded by flowers, paintings and pretty things and I can handle that!
Last, but not least is the kitchen/office, that's where the food is! I keep food in my fridge. Once a week I have a big meal of spinach, stuffing, mac and cheese, mash potatoes, veggies, pork loin,turkey, chicken and ribs. It lasts me the whole week. I don't have to cook during the week, only on the weekends. I keep Captain Crunch, ice cream, snacks, fruit, pancake mix, grits and oatmeal. Plenty of H2O. In this kitchen where I spend the most of my time is the computer, which is my best friend here in the hood. My grandparents photo. The queen of diamond card. Prolific member's books. DVD movies. Computer books galore. A small television from China with a missing remote and I can't call it if I wanted to. When I am sitting here in front of my best friend sometimes I have Stevie on my ears and I just dance away on certain songs...I just can't help myself. Music is the key to my happiness. Of course God, prayer, reading the Bible and worship. Also, I enjoy studying here when I can..if not, I hit the library or college and I focus. I cannot let negativity hit me and if it does, I let it go like a hot air balloon! Goodbye...I want to hear something positive...I am going somewhere in life. I want to express my life to the world, my words, my sparkle, a diamond.
Ok, my friends, you have taken a tour of Pier 3. I hope that you enjoyed your visit here. Now when you exit outside the door, put your mental blinders on and act like you don't know.
I wrote about this to show myself that I do have something to be thankful for while I am waiting for my ship to carry me on my next journey. I wanted to share that with you, my friends, that despite the going-ons on the outside of my door, and the innermost conditions inside, I am a breathing, live human being and indeed grateful for that blessing. God has not forgotten me or you.
queenwriter
Last, but not least is the kitchen/office, that's where the food is! I keep food in my fridge. Once a week I have a big meal of spinach, stuffing, mac and cheese, mash potatoes, veggies, pork loin,turkey, chicken and ribs. It lasts me the whole week. I don't have to cook during the week, only on the weekends. I keep Captain Crunch, ice cream, snacks, fruit, pancake mix, grits and oatmeal. Plenty of H2O. In this kitchen where I spend the most of my time is the computer, which is my best friend here in the hood. My grandparents photo. The queen of diamond card. Prolific member's books. DVD movies. Computer books galore. A small television from China with a missing remote and I can't call it if I wanted to. When I am sitting here in front of my best friend sometimes I have Stevie on my ears and I just dance away on certain songs...I just can't help myself. Music is the key to my happiness. Of course God, prayer, reading the Bible and worship. Also, I enjoy studying here when I can..if not, I hit the library or college and I focus. I cannot let negativity hit me and if it does, I let it go like a hot air balloon! Goodbye...I want to hear something positive...I am going somewhere in life. I want to express my life to the world, my words, my sparkle, a diamond.
Ok, my friends, you have taken a tour of Pier 3. I hope that you enjoyed your visit here. Now when you exit outside the door, put your mental blinders on and act like you don't know.
I wrote about this to show myself that I do have something to be thankful for while I am waiting for my ship to carry me on my next journey. I wanted to share that with you, my friends, that despite the going-ons on the outside of my door, and the innermost conditions inside, I am a breathing, live human being and indeed grateful for that blessing. God has not forgotten me or you.
queenwriter
A Grand Tour of Pier 3
I thought I just might take my friends on a grand tour of Pier 3. Pier 3 is an apartment on the third floor. This apartment has four rooms with a roof. How many of you have a roof? Are you not grateful? I am sure you are. Let's proceed on this grand tour. We are going to block out all persons, noise and what everyone is doing on the outside of this door. Enjoy!
Let's take the living room. The television is on, even though I am sitting here in the kitchen on the computer. The living room has four nice lamps, one with a floral lamp shade. Currently, there is a green bulb in one, a yellow one in another and two regular bulbs in the other two. Lighting helps me greatly in the winter time for it gets so dark so early and I need brightness of light. Next, we see the five row bookshelf which is invaluable; for it cannot be replaced. I have all of my books such as psychology on one shelf, writing books take up about three, books on quilting and other fine subjects sit there on the shelf. In addition to the books, I have a nice brown doll sitting on the shelf, she is like a mocha brown, like hot chocolate might look in a cup with whipped cream-steaming hot. She's barefoot but she's pretty. Also, I have photos of myself on the bookshelf, my education degrees that I have earned thus far, my poetic metals and trophies, all of my honors. These are things that I should deeply cherish. remember that we are inside and not thinking of anything outside, ok...nothing. Let's proceed. I have a nice magazine rack with the latest Ebony, Essence and Oprah magazines. I even have some "Bride" magazines..what's up with that? Homegirl gettin married? When and with whom and why! Let's check the beautiful artwork out. Monet, Anne Geddes and African American Art hangs in the balance. So much art I cannot hang it up, for it will cover the whole living room wall. I have one sofa filled with dolls, for I collect them and there is no room for me, let alone a companion. I have all kinds of dolls, all races and nationalities sharing Pier 3 with me and they don't complain. So why should I? They live here too, right? There is one chair that I sit in when I am not at the computer. Once I sit in front of the boob-tube I am going to la-la land. The other night I wanted to take a break from the computer, sat in front of the tube and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzaway to better dreams, waking up at 3am. Don't let me sit in front of that tube and have my popcorn, cheeze puffs, and Lorna Doone cookies. All I want to do is enjoy my living room and chair by watching a Lifetime movie. I wake up with a Lorna Doone in my mouth chewing it.
Next room is the bathroom, small but quaint. Decorated in blue. Tiolet seat is always down, so you know what that means. Shower curtains, rugs and cover for tiolet set all blue. All tioletries in order. Old fashioned bath tub which will never become white no matter what you do. Scrub on my sista, scrub on, it does not matter. Smallest room in Pier 3.
Bedroom, poor bedroom...the room I used to sin in. I had to end the six year relationship with the married man who claimed"divorce." They lived in the same house but was "playin house." I fell for the story. It was called "An unpaid mistress." But somehow in my past married men seemed so secure for me, those were the only kind of men that I wanted for I felt that I was something special that they had to come to. I felt good with a married man. Why did married men like me so much and why? I'm talkin about when I was in my early twenties and of course the men were always older. Anyway, poor bedroom is surrounded
Monday, January 16, 2006
Yes, You Can!
Today I am going to talk about self-esteem and feeling good about ourselves. Having a good sense of self-esteem is important today in order to feel a sense of greatness within. There is nothing on this earth that we cannot do if we put our hearts and minds to it. We must feel that WE CAN! At one time in my life I did not have a healthy sense of self-esteem because I felt that I was unable to accomplish anything and I had a negative view of myself and others. It was only after reading self-help books of wisdom and inspiration, going through therapy and doing some self-talk, that I was able to feel better about myself and others. If we feel good about ourselves, everything falls into place.
Feeling good about ourselves and saying that WE CAN, does not mean being self-conceited, it means being CONVINCED. We are convinced that we can excel in something that we are trying to achieve, we are thinking positive in our endeavors and we are indeed grateful that we can do so. Take for example my writing projects and goals. A person who really knows me will see that I am striving to do my best. I am convinced that with God's help I can do so and I am a positive thinker in that regard. On the other hand, a negative person who does not really know me, like those who reside around me or some of my "kinfolk" will say that I am conceited or that I think that "I am all that." That is so untrue. I don't think that, maybe that is the way they think. They don't know the real me. It is just that I have gained a newfound confidence in myself that others wish that they had. If anyone wants to learn how I got this way I will show them and be glad to do so, YES I CAN! and I will.
Jealousy gets you nowhere in this life. If Queen Mocha gets some good fourtune that has come her way, then we should be glad for her. If we find that we get some kind of bad vibes or feelings that we want the same for ourselves, guess what? We can. In our own way and time, for God does not make mistakes. Be happy and share the joys with that person, for you do not know the struggle that the individual has gone through to get to the success. Also, you don't know what kind of trials and tribulations the individual is going through despite the success. I am going to use myself as an example again for I am trying to share a point. To persons that see me on the outside, I may look like Queen of Sheba, for I make sure before I appear outside the door that I am presentable to the public as well as myself. However, because of illnesses that I am juggling for life, it takes me two hours to achieve that. Because of the conditions that are appearing in the building now all night long, it really takes me a while to get myself together in the morning. The conditions of overcrowding in the apartment has my mind ovecrowded and I am functioning at less than one hundred percent. And yet I continue to write. I continue to pray. I continue to meditate. That is where the gift comes in. Despite the inner and the outer circumference about me, YES, I CAN! You ask me why? CAUSE I CAN! You ask me why again. God says so! If it were not for the Creator, I could not stand, and neither could you. All of us are going through something and YES, WE CAN, despite.
The reason I have titled this YES I CAN, is because I found this book today that a woman doctor had given to me upon my discharge from Cooper Hospital back in 1995, a pocket-sized book. It has the title YES, YOU CAN! I would just like to share a few sayings from famous people. Try to hold on to the thought this week that you can do anything in this world that you want to if you put your mind to it and there is nothing beyond your dreams. Yes, you have the potential, don't forget that!
"I am just myself, and who I am is a lot." Phylicia Rashad
"They are able who think they are able." Virgil
"The learning provess is never-ending, and growth will continue if only you will allow it to." Arlene Francis
"I like to think that each of us has his own little destiny and we have to seek it- no one will hand it to us." Richard Chamberlain
"I'm happiest when I'm working, rising to challenges." Lucille Ball
"I must not only try harder, but be better...You are playing yourself, your own highest standards, and when you reach your linits, that is the real joy." Arthur Ashe
"No one has more potential for greatness than anyone else." Marianne Williamson
"I began to understand that self-esteem isn't everything; it's just that there's nothing without it." Gloria Steinem
Feeling good about ourselves and saying that WE CAN, does not mean being self-conceited, it means being CONVINCED. We are convinced that we can excel in something that we are trying to achieve, we are thinking positive in our endeavors and we are indeed grateful that we can do so. Take for example my writing projects and goals. A person who really knows me will see that I am striving to do my best. I am convinced that with God's help I can do so and I am a positive thinker in that regard. On the other hand, a negative person who does not really know me, like those who reside around me or some of my "kinfolk" will say that I am conceited or that I think that "I am all that." That is so untrue. I don't think that, maybe that is the way they think. They don't know the real me. It is just that I have gained a newfound confidence in myself that others wish that they had. If anyone wants to learn how I got this way I will show them and be glad to do so, YES I CAN! and I will.
Jealousy gets you nowhere in this life. If Queen Mocha gets some good fourtune that has come her way, then we should be glad for her. If we find that we get some kind of bad vibes or feelings that we want the same for ourselves, guess what? We can. In our own way and time, for God does not make mistakes. Be happy and share the joys with that person, for you do not know the struggle that the individual has gone through to get to the success. Also, you don't know what kind of trials and tribulations the individual is going through despite the success. I am going to use myself as an example again for I am trying to share a point. To persons that see me on the outside, I may look like Queen of Sheba, for I make sure before I appear outside the door that I am presentable to the public as well as myself. However, because of illnesses that I am juggling for life, it takes me two hours to achieve that. Because of the conditions that are appearing in the building now all night long, it really takes me a while to get myself together in the morning. The conditions of overcrowding in the apartment has my mind ovecrowded and I am functioning at less than one hundred percent. And yet I continue to write. I continue to pray. I continue to meditate. That is where the gift comes in. Despite the inner and the outer circumference about me, YES, I CAN! You ask me why? CAUSE I CAN! You ask me why again. God says so! If it were not for the Creator, I could not stand, and neither could you. All of us are going through something and YES, WE CAN, despite.
The reason I have titled this YES I CAN, is because I found this book today that a woman doctor had given to me upon my discharge from Cooper Hospital back in 1995, a pocket-sized book. It has the title YES, YOU CAN! I would just like to share a few sayings from famous people. Try to hold on to the thought this week that you can do anything in this world that you want to if you put your mind to it and there is nothing beyond your dreams. Yes, you have the potential, don't forget that!
"I am just myself, and who I am is a lot." Phylicia Rashad
"They are able who think they are able." Virgil
"The learning provess is never-ending, and growth will continue if only you will allow it to." Arlene Francis
"I like to think that each of us has his own little destiny and we have to seek it- no one will hand it to us." Richard Chamberlain
"I'm happiest when I'm working, rising to challenges." Lucille Ball
"I must not only try harder, but be better...You are playing yourself, your own highest standards, and when you reach your linits, that is the real joy." Arthur Ashe
"No one has more potential for greatness than anyone else." Marianne Williamson
"I began to understand that self-esteem isn't everything; it's just that there's nothing without it." Gloria Steinem
Monday, January 09, 2006
Healing Thoughts
Good day to everyone who has decided to visit me and my blog. You know my blog is like my best friend that awaits for me each and every week. I try not to let my blog down on Monday morns but I am just a little late today, better late than never. Come on in and hear what I have to say today.
I survived the first week of the year and that is something to be thankful for. I made some inner commitments to myself of newfound behaviors that I was to display and not to let anything deter me from that-people, places or things. Instead of getting upset, mad or angry, I choose to remain a calm disposition and not to let anything bother me. I have too much going for me as well as too much going on to pay attention to pitty, petty, problems.
I had one tragedy on the first day of the year that happened in our family with a cousin. The car collided with a train on New Years Day, killing my cousin and her son. That left my cousin and a remaining son. It happened so fast, there was no body to view or look at, only the remains. Friends, we must cherish our families and life. Tell someone important to you that you love them. Go out of your comfort zone sometimes. Yes, it is difficult but it can be done. Sometimes, we have to take the first step. I will be working on that as well.
Today was a day that I had quite a few run-ins. First of all, I dropped off a pair of boots to the shoe repair. I just bought these boots last week from Payless, a cute little heel and I wore them every day. They were pretty, pointy and cranberry. Strut sister strut! When he told me 7.50 and he needed a four dollar deposit, I started to change my mind. But I love THEM boots. Then he tells me Friday at noon. I am thinking why a whole week, cause these boots are made for walking. Paid 25.00, it seems like I could have bought me another pair just like them or similiar for despite all of my boots, they are the BOMB! I proceeded up the hill and said to myself: "What the heck." I will live until Friday.
Across the street from the shoe repair shop was the dry cleaner. Now bear in mind, this is a grey shawl that I paid 10.00 for from the R,Wand B thrift store last week. It's pretty, it's grey. Not able to iron it, they got the machines right? So at first he gives me a price of 5.50, I say ok. Then the next thing you know, he wants a deposit and says if I leave a deposit it is cheaper. I say how much he tells me 5.50. Now he must have forgotten that he gave me a price of 5.50. He tells me a 1.00 cheaper and I tells him 4.50, now he tells me 5.50. I say to him: "Never mind, I will take it somewhere else, you are dealing bad business and we can't deal." He was simply what one would call (money-hungry) This is a new year and I cannot have palpitations over pettiness. I take the grey-shawl to a closer cleaners that is near the community college downtown. (The dry cleaners here in this town are mostly run by the chinese-korean-vietnamese. That's right. So it's called compromise.. Her price was 5.00, no deposit. I can have my shawl by tomorrow if I like to wear it to bible study. I love shawls, I feel free, like I have wings. Check somebody out the next time you see a person with a shawl on, they look guile-like, free like a dove.
Well, over to the post-office to my post office box, a few medical bills-no Mocha Musings. Promised-Lulu.com is very good but it is something on this end cause it went out on December 30th. Alright, maybe tomorow, or Wednesday- I will be positive. I can't wait for my Mocha Musings and then Confessions by Walee. I know one thing when I move, my BOOTS, SHAWL, AND BOOKS are hauling *** with me! One book per month or every other. What I like about Mocha and Walee they are not pushing their stuff on me, they are patient. Mocha stays busy and things happen. Just sit back and wait. Walee, my big brutha-yeah, y'all we are related (lol) has been patient with me. The website is advertised and if a person wants the book, they will click on the link.
Lastly, I head on over to the nail shop wishing I can do the refill myself. I can save that 12.00. I bests to learn. I got black tips again with the gold line. Cannot afford the designs like I see some of these young hip-hop sistahs, babies in their strollers with empty milk bottles. They telling them"shut-up." Babies don't even know what they mean. These girls are street hustlers. Got more money than I. This is the only place where I can get some quality sleep in the chair while Linda is holding my hand down trying to paint a fingernail. Well, I can say that I had a full day.
Oh, I ran into my father. I listened to his conversation. His line was that he lost my phone number. I gave it to him again. I ate my food and we talked. I got a chance to see him and I prayed inwardly. He had on some nice jeans and a suit jacket and I did feel a little better just seeing him and knowing he is alive. I thought that I would share this
.
Sweet Memories
Some of the blessings that make life so sweet are the special people who share my good times and brighten my days. It is often these people who cheer me on when my own enthusiasm seems to wane. It is to these people-the ones who give comfort and support, often without being asked that I express my heartfelt thanks. I love them and appreciate all they have done to make my life happier and more complete.
The sweet memories of these individuals will continue to bless me. Whether they are still an active part of my life or they have gone on to continue their individual journeys, they hold a special place in my heart. I remember our times together and I include these loved ones in my prayers. Remembering my loved ones in prayer, I send them a blessing. So in thinking of my dad, as we parted he has his own journey he is traveling on and I have mine.
Thanks for visiting and I will see you next week!
Peace, love and many blessings
I survived the first week of the year and that is something to be thankful for. I made some inner commitments to myself of newfound behaviors that I was to display and not to let anything deter me from that-people, places or things. Instead of getting upset, mad or angry, I choose to remain a calm disposition and not to let anything bother me. I have too much going for me as well as too much going on to pay attention to pitty, petty, problems.
I had one tragedy on the first day of the year that happened in our family with a cousin. The car collided with a train on New Years Day, killing my cousin and her son. That left my cousin and a remaining son. It happened so fast, there was no body to view or look at, only the remains. Friends, we must cherish our families and life. Tell someone important to you that you love them. Go out of your comfort zone sometimes. Yes, it is difficult but it can be done. Sometimes, we have to take the first step. I will be working on that as well.
Today was a day that I had quite a few run-ins. First of all, I dropped off a pair of boots to the shoe repair. I just bought these boots last week from Payless, a cute little heel and I wore them every day. They were pretty, pointy and cranberry. Strut sister strut! When he told me 7.50 and he needed a four dollar deposit, I started to change my mind. But I love THEM boots. Then he tells me Friday at noon. I am thinking why a whole week, cause these boots are made for walking. Paid 25.00, it seems like I could have bought me another pair just like them or similiar for despite all of my boots, they are the BOMB! I proceeded up the hill and said to myself: "What the heck." I will live until Friday.
Across the street from the shoe repair shop was the dry cleaner. Now bear in mind, this is a grey shawl that I paid 10.00 for from the R,Wand B thrift store last week. It's pretty, it's grey. Not able to iron it, they got the machines right? So at first he gives me a price of 5.50, I say ok. Then the next thing you know, he wants a deposit and says if I leave a deposit it is cheaper. I say how much he tells me 5.50. Now he must have forgotten that he gave me a price of 5.50. He tells me a 1.00 cheaper and I tells him 4.50, now he tells me 5.50. I say to him: "Never mind, I will take it somewhere else, you are dealing bad business and we can't deal." He was simply what one would call (money-hungry) This is a new year and I cannot have palpitations over pettiness. I take the grey-shawl to a closer cleaners that is near the community college downtown. (The dry cleaners here in this town are mostly run by the chinese-korean-vietnamese. That's right. So it's called compromise.. Her price was 5.00, no deposit. I can have my shawl by tomorrow if I like to wear it to bible study. I love shawls, I feel free, like I have wings. Check somebody out the next time you see a person with a shawl on, they look guile-like, free like a dove.
Well, over to the post-office to my post office box, a few medical bills-no Mocha Musings. Promised-Lulu.com is very good but it is something on this end cause it went out on December 30th. Alright, maybe tomorow, or Wednesday- I will be positive. I can't wait for my Mocha Musings and then Confessions by Walee. I know one thing when I move, my BOOTS, SHAWL, AND BOOKS are hauling *** with me! One book per month or every other. What I like about Mocha and Walee they are not pushing their stuff on me, they are patient. Mocha stays busy and things happen. Just sit back and wait. Walee, my big brutha-yeah, y'all we are related (lol) has been patient with me. The website is advertised and if a person wants the book, they will click on the link.
Lastly, I head on over to the nail shop wishing I can do the refill myself. I can save that 12.00. I bests to learn. I got black tips again with the gold line. Cannot afford the designs like I see some of these young hip-hop sistahs, babies in their strollers with empty milk bottles. They telling them"shut-up." Babies don't even know what they mean. These girls are street hustlers. Got more money than I. This is the only place where I can get some quality sleep in the chair while Linda is holding my hand down trying to paint a fingernail. Well, I can say that I had a full day.
Oh, I ran into my father. I listened to his conversation. His line was that he lost my phone number. I gave it to him again. I ate my food and we talked. I got a chance to see him and I prayed inwardly. He had on some nice jeans and a suit jacket and I did feel a little better just seeing him and knowing he is alive. I thought that I would share this
.
Sweet Memories
Some of the blessings that make life so sweet are the special people who share my good times and brighten my days. It is often these people who cheer me on when my own enthusiasm seems to wane. It is to these people-the ones who give comfort and support, often without being asked that I express my heartfelt thanks. I love them and appreciate all they have done to make my life happier and more complete.
The sweet memories of these individuals will continue to bless me. Whether they are still an active part of my life or they have gone on to continue their individual journeys, they hold a special place in my heart. I remember our times together and I include these loved ones in my prayers. Remembering my loved ones in prayer, I send them a blessing. So in thinking of my dad, as we parted he has his own journey he is traveling on and I have mine.
Thanks for visiting and I will see you next week!
Peace, love and many blessings
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Two Thousand and Six
I am looking forward to a grand new year of many blessings and untold victories. I am looking forward to many challenges that await me as I take each day at a time. I have set many goals for myself that are reachable. I refuse to be the procrastinator that I was in 2005. This is a new year and I am a new me, one that will work diligently not to complain about my lot in life, for I do have many things in which to be grateful.
This is the year that my Creator will have me to move for He knows that my time is up here. I will not complain, but I shall take each day as it comes, do what I have to do to make progress in the needed direction in which I shall go and appreciate the circumstances that I do have, that do exist about me. Each and every day that I awaken and put two feet flat on the floor and can remember my first and last name, than I am doing good.
I am going to talk about school right now for that is important to me. Introduction to Photography and Basic Drawing are two classes that I am looking forward to. The seventeenth of January is right around the corner and I am anxiously awaiting. I have my 35 mm Minolta just waiting, it is a year old for me. I bought it brand new last January from Ritz camera stores. I was so excited that day with that sharp piece of equipment that I could not part with it, really need to learn more about it. We are living in the age of the (digital) camera, but that is okay, for I am interested in learning how to develop film in the darkroom, take black and white photos and etc. I am old-fashioned in more ways than one. Basic Drawing, oh I really would love to continue expressing myself on a large pad of paper, carrying a case that makes me look like an real artist. In this neighborhood, that is quite outstanding, an artist. Other than the writing label, I will label myself with taking photos and drawing persons and things. This will help me to focus more on me, my interests, my activities and less on negative things which cannot produce light. (Collier?) where are you??
So, with my school classes, and doing the photo and drawing kick, I will be so into that, no one will be able to get through my skin, which I have decided to thicken. Yes, I shall be thick-skinned. After years of having thin-skin, I will possess multiple layers. I will have a proverbial duck's back that the water will just roll right off. God will take care of me with any hurts, pains or damage that persons should seek to harm with me with. Queen of Diamonds is getting tough even though she is not a tough chick, she's really kind.
With my project of writing I have a few: "Red Rose, Crimson Beauty," is the first and foremost project. 50 Poetic Petals that will describe my various stations in life that are describing hope, peace, love and tranqility. Somehow I keep running into roses everywhere I go. Everywhere. The next few projects are "In My Father's Shadow," a memoir and "Diamond In the Rough," both are basically stories of my life one about my father and the other a life from riches to ragtime. Many persons cannot handle a life of mansion living, then homelessness to living a life of low-income status-quo. I have been tested over and over again and guess what? I shall continue to get tested. A door just slammed and I am simply not going to let it bother me. For every door slammed, I can just repeat : (God is in control, in time Sharon.) That's it. Getting upset will not help matters. I shall continue on in my quest for better things in life. Other projects that I will work on for the distant future are: "Through Rose Colored Glasses: The Pocahontas Story," that's about me and my life living in the YWCA and the neighborhood where I live now. (Pier 3) This book will have to be fiction...by the time this is released I will have completed my classes of fiction writing, chracter building and any other course to assist me in this vocation. There will be a woman who despite the hood she lives in goes on to gain her degrees (BA and MFA) and she helps a neighborhood youth who almost loses his life to the streets with drug and gang violence. She realizes that God had her in this neighborhood for a reason and things happen in their due course. This book will have to have characters like drug dealers, drama queens, crackheads and the like that live in this type of environment. That's enough of projects to keep me busy. I have to write or I die. Either one or the other. I choose to write. Good choice. You got it!
Well just ending my first day of two thousand and six, I am well-pleased. I had a relaxing day with meditating on some great thoughts and appreciation. I ate good and healthy today. I communicated with some members of my PFamily. I am really content being alone, although Friday I felt lonely. It did not last very long when I thought of some of the consequences that could result if I made some choices that were unhealthy. And in closing, may all of us possess a relative amount of trueness, peace, blessings and perserverance that is needed for all things that we may come across in this life. I am looking forward to better days to come in two thousand and six, what say you? Holla! whatever works, let me hear....
georgia peach
This is the year that my Creator will have me to move for He knows that my time is up here. I will not complain, but I shall take each day as it comes, do what I have to do to make progress in the needed direction in which I shall go and appreciate the circumstances that I do have, that do exist about me. Each and every day that I awaken and put two feet flat on the floor and can remember my first and last name, than I am doing good.
I am going to talk about school right now for that is important to me. Introduction to Photography and Basic Drawing are two classes that I am looking forward to. The seventeenth of January is right around the corner and I am anxiously awaiting. I have my 35 mm Minolta just waiting, it is a year old for me. I bought it brand new last January from Ritz camera stores. I was so excited that day with that sharp piece of equipment that I could not part with it, really need to learn more about it. We are living in the age of the (digital) camera, but that is okay, for I am interested in learning how to develop film in the darkroom, take black and white photos and etc. I am old-fashioned in more ways than one. Basic Drawing, oh I really would love to continue expressing myself on a large pad of paper, carrying a case that makes me look like an real artist. In this neighborhood, that is quite outstanding, an artist. Other than the writing label, I will label myself with taking photos and drawing persons and things. This will help me to focus more on me, my interests, my activities and less on negative things which cannot produce light. (Collier?) where are you??
So, with my school classes, and doing the photo and drawing kick, I will be so into that, no one will be able to get through my skin, which I have decided to thicken. Yes, I shall be thick-skinned. After years of having thin-skin, I will possess multiple layers. I will have a proverbial duck's back that the water will just roll right off. God will take care of me with any hurts, pains or damage that persons should seek to harm with me with. Queen of Diamonds is getting tough even though she is not a tough chick, she's really kind.
With my project of writing I have a few: "Red Rose, Crimson Beauty," is the first and foremost project. 50 Poetic Petals that will describe my various stations in life that are describing hope, peace, love and tranqility. Somehow I keep running into roses everywhere I go. Everywhere. The next few projects are "In My Father's Shadow," a memoir and "Diamond In the Rough," both are basically stories of my life one about my father and the other a life from riches to ragtime. Many persons cannot handle a life of mansion living, then homelessness to living a life of low-income status-quo. I have been tested over and over again and guess what? I shall continue to get tested. A door just slammed and I am simply not going to let it bother me. For every door slammed, I can just repeat : (God is in control, in time Sharon.) That's it. Getting upset will not help matters. I shall continue on in my quest for better things in life. Other projects that I will work on for the distant future are: "Through Rose Colored Glasses: The Pocahontas Story," that's about me and my life living in the YWCA and the neighborhood where I live now. (Pier 3) This book will have to be fiction...by the time this is released I will have completed my classes of fiction writing, chracter building and any other course to assist me in this vocation. There will be a woman who despite the hood she lives in goes on to gain her degrees (BA and MFA) and she helps a neighborhood youth who almost loses his life to the streets with drug and gang violence. She realizes that God had her in this neighborhood for a reason and things happen in their due course. This book will have to have characters like drug dealers, drama queens, crackheads and the like that live in this type of environment. That's enough of projects to keep me busy. I have to write or I die. Either one or the other. I choose to write. Good choice. You got it!
Well just ending my first day of two thousand and six, I am well-pleased. I had a relaxing day with meditating on some great thoughts and appreciation. I ate good and healthy today. I communicated with some members of my PFamily. I am really content being alone, although Friday I felt lonely. It did not last very long when I thought of some of the consequences that could result if I made some choices that were unhealthy. And in closing, may all of us possess a relative amount of trueness, peace, blessings and perserverance that is needed for all things that we may come across in this life. I am looking forward to better days to come in two thousand and six, what say you? Holla! whatever works, let me hear....
georgia peach
Monday, December 26, 2005
School Break and Blessings, Yeah!
When was the last time I had a school break, I mean a legal one...Not like last January when I was forced to take a semester break. This was a semester that I received two grades from and did not get incompletes for a change. It was a challenge, I would be lying if I said it was not. Difficulty sleeping, people smoking crack in the hallway, people selling drugs beneath my feet, the snake staying up all night, these and more contributed to my health challenges, mental and physical, almost strengthless....
We are going into another year and here I remain..OK, I will keep on tryin, especially now since I am on break; God will handle the rest. Don't worry, be happy! so sings Bobby McFerrin. I have a lot of things to appreciate and to be happy for. Flowers, candles, dolls(to be named) and books surround me. Oh, and scarves.....all so unique and different. Just being able to go to school on grants and scholarships is a blessing. I am able to eat each day, the lilies of the field eat, don't they? The gift of being able to read is a blessing. Some people cannot read and write and they don't want to. My blessings are endless. Family still alive and well.
Maybe now that I am on break, I will take a much-needed trip to you know where. I am still headed2atlanta@yahoo.com, my blog name is miss georgia peach and away I go! Pro-Move just called again, they have a property for me in Atlanta(first three months free)???. They are going to call me back tomorrow. They say that people are desperate for persons to move in. Rent.com keeps sending me properties through the internet, they look so beautiful. I am just trusting in God, for his hands are in all matters.
It was good to see Homeboy yesterday, I know that he was surprised to see that I had gifts for him. He was not expecting anything yesterday from me, because it is called 'Divine Forgiveness'. When you hurt someone over and over, lie to them over and over, you become calloused. I forgave him, he already knew that. However, like I told him, I forgave you, but I am not a fool. He willl never use me again, even if my heart is kind.
Today I went to the laundromat, had the latest Good Housekeeping and Essence mags and lo and behold my back is turned and they walk away. Both mags! Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! I knew some female seen me drop them or she swept them from out of my sight. Well, I hope whoever has them learn how to read or appreciate the articles or learn something about Queen Latifiah and Angela Bassett. I just purchased both magazines last evening. I felt like showing persons my true colors in that place, but I said, NO WAY JOSE, I AM NOT GOING ANY WHERE FOR MAKING TERRORISTIC THREATS over two mags. I just don't like Negroes stealing from me when I turn my back...... stealing nothing from me, nothing...
Now I will go and watch a movie, they are running the some specials on tv, I need to watch one and I know that I am going to fall asleep, it happens everytime. I will be going grocery shopping later, someone blessed me with a Shoprite gift card. Blessings, that is what I am talkin bout!
The school break is to be enjoyed by me, relaxed by me, maybe a trip or so to neverending land, Oh, I have to hit the Big Apple I do know, Also I must get up each morning, get it together and get out. Everyone enjoy your last week of the year, MAKE PLANS, SET GOALS, BE HAPPY, BE CHEERFUL, FIGHT ALL ODDS, TAKE THE HIGH ROAD AND STAND TALL AND TALENTED, FOR THAT YOU ARE! You have every reason to be blessed and content.
miss georgia peach
We are going into another year and here I remain..OK, I will keep on tryin, especially now since I am on break; God will handle the rest. Don't worry, be happy! so sings Bobby McFerrin. I have a lot of things to appreciate and to be happy for. Flowers, candles, dolls(to be named) and books surround me. Oh, and scarves.....all so unique and different. Just being able to go to school on grants and scholarships is a blessing. I am able to eat each day, the lilies of the field eat, don't they? The gift of being able to read is a blessing. Some people cannot read and write and they don't want to. My blessings are endless. Family still alive and well.
Maybe now that I am on break, I will take a much-needed trip to you know where. I am still headed2atlanta@yahoo.com, my blog name is miss georgia peach and away I go! Pro-Move just called again, they have a property for me in Atlanta(first three months free)???. They are going to call me back tomorrow. They say that people are desperate for persons to move in. Rent.com keeps sending me properties through the internet, they look so beautiful. I am just trusting in God, for his hands are in all matters.
It was good to see Homeboy yesterday, I know that he was surprised to see that I had gifts for him. He was not expecting anything yesterday from me, because it is called 'Divine Forgiveness'. When you hurt someone over and over, lie to them over and over, you become calloused. I forgave him, he already knew that. However, like I told him, I forgave you, but I am not a fool. He willl never use me again, even if my heart is kind.
Today I went to the laundromat, had the latest Good Housekeeping and Essence mags and lo and behold my back is turned and they walk away. Both mags! Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! I knew some female seen me drop them or she swept them from out of my sight. Well, I hope whoever has them learn how to read or appreciate the articles or learn something about Queen Latifiah and Angela Bassett. I just purchased both magazines last evening. I felt like showing persons my true colors in that place, but I said, NO WAY JOSE, I AM NOT GOING ANY WHERE FOR MAKING TERRORISTIC THREATS over two mags. I just don't like Negroes stealing from me when I turn my back...... stealing nothing from me, nothing...
Now I will go and watch a movie, they are running the some specials on tv, I need to watch one and I know that I am going to fall asleep, it happens everytime. I will be going grocery shopping later, someone blessed me with a Shoprite gift card. Blessings, that is what I am talkin bout!
The school break is to be enjoyed by me, relaxed by me, maybe a trip or so to neverending land, Oh, I have to hit the Big Apple I do know, Also I must get up each morning, get it together and get out. Everyone enjoy your last week of the year, MAKE PLANS, SET GOALS, BE HAPPY, BE CHEERFUL, FIGHT ALL ODDS, TAKE THE HIGH ROAD AND STAND TALL AND TALENTED, FOR THAT YOU ARE! You have every reason to be blessed and content.
miss georgia peach
Monday, December 19, 2005
Experiences from a Pollyanna
Last Wednesday morning as I waited in the cold for a bus to the train station, I met a nice young lady. She was shivering cold. She started the conversation by asking me if I knew what time the next bus was coming. As we progressed on our conversation, I found out that she was in the ninth grade and she displayed a very negative attitude about her future. She did not think that she could make it through the high school. She mentioned that it was too hard. A few tears fell from her face as she was speaking. This young lady Michelle, was taking care of her grandmother and she felt that she had a lot of pressures on her. She was already running late to school and she was going to blame her mother for she was asked at the last minute to provide breakfst for her grandma.
I gave Michelle confidence to know that she can make it in high school and she can go to college if she wanted to. She was not aware of the many scholarships and grants that are out there that can provide for her. I told her about my situation, how I am going to college basically free, and that it is a wonderful learning experience. She could not believe my age and she thought that it was great for me to be in college. We got on the bus together and before parting, I gave her my telephone number. That was a great experience.
I got to the train station and purchased my tickets for I was out of them. I boarded the 8:48am train to New Brunswick which was an express to New York City. I am one of those first car riders where the bathroom is, where the nice bright sunlight just shines so nicely and I love my own seat since it was not crowded with rude NYC businessmen and women. I was sipping on my Mandarin Spice Herbal Tea and eating a nice cream cheese bagel. I was eagerly anticipating my dental visit at the hospital. A nice thirty minute ride to eat, drink, read and be merry.
It seemed like the whole day I smiled. There were no frowns, I was out of the hood. I was smiling at the tots. There were people in the cafeteria to smile at. The gift shop. I learned something that I already knew. You feel better when you smile. When you smile, you make the other person smile back at you. Of course, the holiday music is playing in the background. People have a tendency to agree with the music whether they want to do or not. Sleigh Bells ring, are you listening......Rudolph, the red nose reindeer, so on and so on....
With exams going on as well as hospital tests going on this week, it was hectic. Frantic pace. From Monday thru Wednesday it was really challenging, but I made it. With the hospital test on Monday, it took alot out of me. When I went to see my doctor this afternoon(December 19th), I did not like the outcome of the tests. I have to take further ones from a GI. doctor. That's alright, I will be a Pollyanna. One day at a time. Nothing to stress over. Que sera, sera. What ever will be, will be. I am going to enjoy the rest of this week because I have positive goals I must work on. On Christmas Day, I will go to the services and then probably visit patients in a neighboring hospital for there is always someone worse off than me. I will give my "neighborhood son a nice letter with a gift of love for him and baby girl because I feel like he has learned from my "cutting him off." I know he has. I love that boy from a distance. After that, it will still go back to normal. I will say hello, but I cannot associate with him as long as he is "hanging out tough. " I have to keep my relationship with my heavenly father in good standing, so I have to watch my associations and my own conduct. I realize that he is not my "real son." I know my place for the boy has a real birth mom and a grandma.
Well, I am going to continue to write for it is therapeutic for me. Writing is something I do when I wake up in the morning and do before I retire at night. I have to get all of the quiet, serene, kept-hidden in the dark secrets out on paper and machine. Also, I must look for a part time gig this week to keep the home fires burnin. If I don't who will? And home hunting....I know by the grace of God all of these things will happen if they are done in the proper seqence and time.
All of you have a joyous holiday season. Enjoy your families. Enjoy and appreciate life.
georgia peach
I gave Michelle confidence to know that she can make it in high school and she can go to college if she wanted to. She was not aware of the many scholarships and grants that are out there that can provide for her. I told her about my situation, how I am going to college basically free, and that it is a wonderful learning experience. She could not believe my age and she thought that it was great for me to be in college. We got on the bus together and before parting, I gave her my telephone number. That was a great experience.
I got to the train station and purchased my tickets for I was out of them. I boarded the 8:48am train to New Brunswick which was an express to New York City. I am one of those first car riders where the bathroom is, where the nice bright sunlight just shines so nicely and I love my own seat since it was not crowded with rude NYC businessmen and women. I was sipping on my Mandarin Spice Herbal Tea and eating a nice cream cheese bagel. I was eagerly anticipating my dental visit at the hospital. A nice thirty minute ride to eat, drink, read and be merry.
It seemed like the whole day I smiled. There were no frowns, I was out of the hood. I was smiling at the tots. There were people in the cafeteria to smile at. The gift shop. I learned something that I already knew. You feel better when you smile. When you smile, you make the other person smile back at you. Of course, the holiday music is playing in the background. People have a tendency to agree with the music whether they want to do or not. Sleigh Bells ring, are you listening......Rudolph, the red nose reindeer, so on and so on....
With exams going on as well as hospital tests going on this week, it was hectic. Frantic pace. From Monday thru Wednesday it was really challenging, but I made it. With the hospital test on Monday, it took alot out of me. When I went to see my doctor this afternoon(December 19th), I did not like the outcome of the tests. I have to take further ones from a GI. doctor. That's alright, I will be a Pollyanna. One day at a time. Nothing to stress over. Que sera, sera. What ever will be, will be. I am going to enjoy the rest of this week because I have positive goals I must work on. On Christmas Day, I will go to the services and then probably visit patients in a neighboring hospital for there is always someone worse off than me. I will give my "neighborhood son a nice letter with a gift of love for him and baby girl because I feel like he has learned from my "cutting him off." I know he has. I love that boy from a distance. After that, it will still go back to normal. I will say hello, but I cannot associate with him as long as he is "hanging out tough. " I have to keep my relationship with my heavenly father in good standing, so I have to watch my associations and my own conduct. I realize that he is not my "real son." I know my place for the boy has a real birth mom and a grandma.
Well, I am going to continue to write for it is therapeutic for me. Writing is something I do when I wake up in the morning and do before I retire at night. I have to get all of the quiet, serene, kept-hidden in the dark secrets out on paper and machine. Also, I must look for a part time gig this week to keep the home fires burnin. If I don't who will? And home hunting....I know by the grace of God all of these things will happen if they are done in the proper seqence and time.
All of you have a joyous holiday season. Enjoy your families. Enjoy and appreciate life.
georgia peach
Monday, December 12, 2005
A Meditating Monday
Today was a day if ever I had to meditate, relax, deep breathe, etc, today was it. After doing the prep necessary for the test for my colon, it had to be done, today. Last week it did not work, test repeat. Yesterday, last meal was jello and broth. Broth and Jello.. Not when Homegirl is used to Captain Crunch and one percent or rice milk. Captain Crunch in the morn, in the evening or at night before retiring. That was a love left over from childhood, at least there's something good from childhood memories....lol
I won't go into the trip and experience at the hospital but I can tell you this; I would not wish it on my enemy, even if I had one.(lol) It's a beautiful hospital, remodeled and I can read, write or study in the beautiful cafeteria there. I can even walk there, but not this moaning...no way, no where, no how. Before leaving the hospital and before experiencing more sickness, I walk into the gift shop and purchase 4 pieces of gourmet chocolate balls. 35cents each, what the heck after all I been through I deserved 4 pieces of chocolate. I continued in my quest for meditating this monday morn....before I left, while hailing a cab(like I'm in NYC), and even when I return home. (that's enough) (thanks to Pittershawn)
Now, I must meditate and take my time for as I look around my four precious rooms, there is so much work to be done in every room. Especially the bedroom and the kitchen where I am right now. This is where I spend the majority of my time..on this computer sometimes until 12 midnight and it is so difficult to log off. It is because the computer has become my best friend. I have recently learned to juggle things within my interior paradise. I am not ready to dream about things that are unpleasant or vivid, strange and no-answer for dreams. If I had my way, I would stay up all night if it meant that I would be refreshed. But I know differently. I have to get my sleep in order to function somewhat the next moaning morning, like Lady Shai named her poem. Back to this(interior paradise), as I look around in this kitchen on the floor, the old computer sits there. I am trying to get it fixed at the soup kitchen so I CAN GIVE IT, to a fellow mmber of the PFam who has been needing one for the longest. I need to see what is wrong with it. I have too much just sitting here that needs to vacate the premises and the computer is one. Bags of clothing and books need to go. Not my school and books of writing, no never, no never. So even though my physical surroundings are caving in on me, I am enjoying sitting here communicating with you all but I know that my bedroom is awaiting fall cleaning. Did I say fall? It cannotremain the way it is until the spring. Homegirl is gonna be gone by then....You can bet your bottom dollar...I am outta here...It's too cold to be homeless now..I appreciate my roof tonight, tomorrow for temps are below zero and only going to be 13 tomorrow and lower. no joke, no joke. I am intensifying my efforts to move out this week, calling more places, hitting rent.com again, calling about some of those properties...I can sometimes get lax and rest my laurels...then I come into the building-smell the piss and the powder, the fumes and the vodka and I get an attitude..and I said this is it, well I have to mean it. God knows that I am tired of being here, I have served my purpose or is serving it...Homeboy and his grandma moved out. Yet he is hanging around because this is his neck- of- the- woods and also his BEST FRIEND that he never had, his MOM that he never had is here...I am going to surprise him this month with something. He has his own life but for him and his baby girl, I will give them a gift. Afterall, he is my family and I have nothing but true love expressed from the heart for him.
Ok, what a day, right. Oh, Monday night football. Time to change the channel, after all the tv is only on for noise. Holiday music in kitchen, jazz is on in the bathroom, inspirational radio in the living room and R&B in the bedroom. What a creation! And now after having not being able to enjoy a nice hot cup of decaf since yesterday, I am going to take an hour break from the computer, light a candle, pray and meditate before proceeding further in this interior paradise.
Thanks for stopping by folxs...see ya later,
don't y'all miss me at the same time.
.
georgia peach
12/12/05
I won't go into the trip and experience at the hospital but I can tell you this; I would not wish it on my enemy, even if I had one.(lol) It's a beautiful hospital, remodeled and I can read, write or study in the beautiful cafeteria there. I can even walk there, but not this moaning...no way, no where, no how. Before leaving the hospital and before experiencing more sickness, I walk into the gift shop and purchase 4 pieces of gourmet chocolate balls. 35cents each, what the heck after all I been through I deserved 4 pieces of chocolate. I continued in my quest for meditating this monday morn....before I left, while hailing a cab(like I'm in NYC), and even when I return home. (that's enough) (thanks to Pittershawn)
Now, I must meditate and take my time for as I look around my four precious rooms, there is so much work to be done in every room. Especially the bedroom and the kitchen where I am right now. This is where I spend the majority of my time..on this computer sometimes until 12 midnight and it is so difficult to log off. It is because the computer has become my best friend. I have recently learned to juggle things within my interior paradise. I am not ready to dream about things that are unpleasant or vivid, strange and no-answer for dreams. If I had my way, I would stay up all night if it meant that I would be refreshed. But I know differently. I have to get my sleep in order to function somewhat the next moaning morning, like Lady Shai named her poem. Back to this(interior paradise), as I look around in this kitchen on the floor, the old computer sits there. I am trying to get it fixed at the soup kitchen so I CAN GIVE IT, to a fellow mmber of the PFam who has been needing one for the longest. I need to see what is wrong with it. I have too much just sitting here that needs to vacate the premises and the computer is one. Bags of clothing and books need to go. Not my school and books of writing, no never, no never. So even though my physical surroundings are caving in on me, I am enjoying sitting here communicating with you all but I know that my bedroom is awaiting fall cleaning. Did I say fall? It cannotremain the way it is until the spring. Homegirl is gonna be gone by then....You can bet your bottom dollar...I am outta here...It's too cold to be homeless now..I appreciate my roof tonight, tomorrow for temps are below zero and only going to be 13 tomorrow and lower. no joke, no joke. I am intensifying my efforts to move out this week, calling more places, hitting rent.com again, calling about some of those properties...I can sometimes get lax and rest my laurels...then I come into the building-smell the piss and the powder, the fumes and the vodka and I get an attitude..and I said this is it, well I have to mean it. God knows that I am tired of being here, I have served my purpose or is serving it...Homeboy and his grandma moved out. Yet he is hanging around because this is his neck- of- the- woods and also his BEST FRIEND that he never had, his MOM that he never had is here...I am going to surprise him this month with something. He has his own life but for him and his baby girl, I will give them a gift. Afterall, he is my family and I have nothing but true love expressed from the heart for him.
Ok, what a day, right. Oh, Monday night football. Time to change the channel, after all the tv is only on for noise. Holiday music in kitchen, jazz is on in the bathroom, inspirational radio in the living room and R&B in the bedroom. What a creation! And now after having not being able to enjoy a nice hot cup of decaf since yesterday, I am going to take an hour break from the computer, light a candle, pray and meditate before proceeding further in this interior paradise.
Thanks for stopping by folxs...see ya later,
don't y'all miss me at the same time.
.
georgia peach
12/12/05
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Jeans,Scarves, Boots and Handbags- A Fetish
There are four things that I will not give up under any circumstances. They are jeans, scarves, boots and handbags. I will take them with me wherever I go. I dress very well with them for I am your average student who wears jeans todos los dias. Even though I wear jeans daily, they are uniquely made. I wear the best jeans and they come from the second hand store. That is where you can get the best jeans. Gloria Vanderbuilt, Venezia and other names that are to be found in new stores, are to be found in MY stores. I wear wide-legged jeans for my boots with the heels, straight leg jeans for the timberlands and the regular boot, and other jeans for any kind of boot. Anytime you get a gal like me who wears jeans every day, she needs accessories to help to accent the jeans. That is where my scarves come in. I must have 100 + scarves and yet I will not give any away. That makes me selfish, huh? And yet I am the most giving person in the universe. Picasso, silk scarves, designer scarves, wool scarves to go around my head in cold weather, you name it, I got it. I am ashamed to let anyone see my collection for they would do the shaking of the head syndrome. Oh, Sharon please...share..give up some of them...no way Jose...I have an addiction or an illness and you know what: I cannot take them scarves with me can I? I am hooked on something material. Scarves...Your life is more important than scarves or jeans or boots or handbags......
Continue on.......
I have boots....Dom loves shoes, I love boots...I have every kind of style and color imaginable. Today I picked up a pair of brown boots that were low with a nice wedge heel. Nice buckle on the side too....sharp as a tic...I will wear them in a few days since it has decided to snow. More snow tomorrow. Oh well, I got boots for the snow too. Nice grip on the bottom. I am not ready to go ice skating. I have all kinds of colors-maroon, black, brown, Tims, light brown suede, boots that make me walk down the street like I am the most important person in the world, not the cutest...just business-like. Like a teacher or a lawyer....I just luv boots.
Then comes the pocketbooks or handbags-I have enough to take a different one for each day of the month and then some. Polo Sport, Lois Vitton, Liz Claiborne and even "Coach" bags now you know...where do you think they come from? My stores...I am not ashamed of the "thrift" stores, for the rich folxs are the ones that leave that stuff.. I get the best. Fanatic I am..No, I will not give you one of my handbags....I have to really be out of my mind on that day if I were to give you one. What handbag, jeans, scarf and boots will I wear tomorrow? Let me see..Let me go look....
Ok, it's 10:39 and it's meds time and Cap'n Crunch time. I jus love that cereal. Then I will finally retire and sit in front of the tube and slowly drift into another time and place. Why do I have cable? No Walee, I will not watch that channel. No tisket, no tasket here, my brotha...Stevie Wonder, Hey Love.....Signed, Sealed, Delivered...You Haven't Done Nothin..that's what I'm talkin bout.....
goodnite, y'all...(dancing in the chair..shakin hips from side to side...arms too, I can really dance)
.
Continue on.......
I have boots....Dom loves shoes, I love boots...I have every kind of style and color imaginable. Today I picked up a pair of brown boots that were low with a nice wedge heel. Nice buckle on the side too....sharp as a tic...I will wear them in a few days since it has decided to snow. More snow tomorrow. Oh well, I got boots for the snow too. Nice grip on the bottom. I am not ready to go ice skating. I have all kinds of colors-maroon, black, brown, Tims, light brown suede, boots that make me walk down the street like I am the most important person in the world, not the cutest...just business-like. Like a teacher or a lawyer....I just luv boots.
Then comes the pocketbooks or handbags-I have enough to take a different one for each day of the month and then some. Polo Sport, Lois Vitton, Liz Claiborne and even "Coach" bags now you know...where do you think they come from? My stores...I am not ashamed of the "thrift" stores, for the rich folxs are the ones that leave that stuff.. I get the best. Fanatic I am..No, I will not give you one of my handbags....I have to really be out of my mind on that day if I were to give you one. What handbag, jeans, scarf and boots will I wear tomorrow? Let me see..Let me go look....
Ok, it's 10:39 and it's meds time and Cap'n Crunch time. I jus love that cereal. Then I will finally retire and sit in front of the tube and slowly drift into another time and place. Why do I have cable? No Walee, I will not watch that channel. No tisket, no tasket here, my brotha...Stevie Wonder, Hey Love.....Signed, Sealed, Delivered...You Haven't Done Nothin..that's what I'm talkin bout.....
goodnite, y'all...(dancing in the chair..shakin hips from side to side...arms too, I can really dance)
.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Wet Cell Phone
I left this out, so there are 2 posts for today. (Wet Cell Phone and Being Thankful)
A wet cell phone, oh boy. Why did I go get another one? Cause I knew in my heart that I was to blame for this one and even though I had it only for 2 months, I was the blame. Why did I jump out the shower to answer the phone, only to find that it was a counselor tryin to get me a schedule together for next semester. Never, ever, ever, friends jump out the shower to answer a cell phone even you dry off a little. I called T-Mobile for them to send me a replacement one, but deep down I knew that I would have to ship the old one back and they were going to charge me one hundred dollars (bill me). So, it was better that I paid for a new Samsung phone today. I could not dial out but people could call in to me. I am on an account with them and I really needed my phone to call persons, not waiting on them to call me. So, if you are ever in the shower or near water, washing dishes, etc. Let the cell phone alone. The person will call you back or leave a message. Unless now, you are in love and you just HAVE TO GET THAT CALL!
peace, from georgia peach
A wet cell phone, oh boy. Why did I go get another one? Cause I knew in my heart that I was to blame for this one and even though I had it only for 2 months, I was the blame. Why did I jump out the shower to answer the phone, only to find that it was a counselor tryin to get me a schedule together for next semester. Never, ever, ever, friends jump out the shower to answer a cell phone even you dry off a little. I called T-Mobile for them to send me a replacement one, but deep down I knew that I would have to ship the old one back and they were going to charge me one hundred dollars (bill me). So, it was better that I paid for a new Samsung phone today. I could not dial out but people could call in to me. I am on an account with them and I really needed my phone to call persons, not waiting on them to call me. So, if you are ever in the shower or near water, washing dishes, etc. Let the cell phone alone. The person will call you back or leave a message. Unless now, you are in love and you just HAVE TO GET THAT CALL!
peace, from georgia peach
Thankful to Be Alive
Thankful to just be alive-doggone it! I did not have to be here, now did I? But I'm still here. I thank God for every good gift and every perfect present. I guess everyone is doing all of this cooking for one fine day that they call Thanksgiving. I am indeed thankful everyday. I am thankful for all of the gifts and talents that God gives to me. Regardless of some of the things that I go through in life, I manage....
Yesterday I went downtown and I brought a few things for myself like a hat and scarf set, not your ordinary hat and scarf set but one with a beautiful red rose crochet with a scarf. It was so difficult to choose the approp color, for there were beige, brown, blue oh so many and I hooked up with black with a beautiful pink and green rose. What a beauty and fifteen dollars! What a steal...I am your normal thrift store stealer, queen, always coming out with a bargain or two. If it's not an Anne Geddes book filled with chillen, it is a book on how to publish poetry. If it's not a Duke University sweatshirt, it is a leather jacket. Back to downtown, I also picked up some of that good ole chinese tea, not the hot--but the iced tea..oh my goodness. I am sipping on some of it now..yes it is grand delicious! I also took me some chinese food home with it. Sweet and sour chicken. Seeeee, my Thanksgiving is everyday. I love to eat good, tasteful food. That is what I am supposed to do. Enjoy life.
Boy, I got my hands full at this time. I need to take a quiz for the computer class, I need to get the back room in order so that I can move and exist in it. It is full of boxes cause I am tryin to tell the world that I am movin. I need to take that trip to Georgia. A midday trip to Georgia.
Atlanta, just like I pictured it. Beautiful city, where I can get my book written. Poetry published. I seen those homes on rent.com. Beauty, Georgeous. Splendid. What more can I say? Jus get on the train or plane, just do something.
I don't know why I keep running into Homeboy. This time last year I could not have any dealings with him. He can't help it but to use a person. That is all he knows. All I know he is messing with the wrong one, for God has my back. I am sure his grandmama is cookin, she always does. She condones his wrongdoing, I don't. I am my own best friend, that's the way love goes. Thankful to be alive.
I am really tryin to publish this small book of poetry, called "Red Rose, Crimson Beauty" There is something mystical behind it. I know that our lives are valuable to God and to ourselves and we should appreciate it and be thankful to be alive. The red rose is a thing of beauty and so are we. Look up crimson in the dictionary... Are we not thankful to be alive and give God the thanks and appreciation?
Regardless of how family acts, I am going to continue to do my own thing. Unique I am and unique I shall remain. Yes, I am a true artist in every sense of the word. I am doing alright, don't worry bout me, for all I need to do is keep puttin my words on printed page. I have to write about what is ailing me, making me happy, saddens me, touches me, heals me, and etc. When I have those answers, then I can say that I am all right... If I want that full-time gig, I will seek it out, if I want a Ford Focus, I can get it, whatever I want, I can get. From now on, I will not limit myself. The world is a stage so they say, ok let me hop up on that stage and peform!
Giving and rendering thanks, for those with the turkey and trimmings, enjoy your day!
georgia peach
one fine day...
Yesterday I went downtown and I brought a few things for myself like a hat and scarf set, not your ordinary hat and scarf set but one with a beautiful red rose crochet with a scarf. It was so difficult to choose the approp color, for there were beige, brown, blue oh so many and I hooked up with black with a beautiful pink and green rose. What a beauty and fifteen dollars! What a steal...I am your normal thrift store stealer, queen, always coming out with a bargain or two. If it's not an Anne Geddes book filled with chillen, it is a book on how to publish poetry. If it's not a Duke University sweatshirt, it is a leather jacket. Back to downtown, I also picked up some of that good ole chinese tea, not the hot--but the iced tea..oh my goodness. I am sipping on some of it now..yes it is grand delicious! I also took me some chinese food home with it. Sweet and sour chicken. Seeeee, my Thanksgiving is everyday. I love to eat good, tasteful food. That is what I am supposed to do. Enjoy life.
Boy, I got my hands full at this time. I need to take a quiz for the computer class, I need to get the back room in order so that I can move and exist in it. It is full of boxes cause I am tryin to tell the world that I am movin. I need to take that trip to Georgia. A midday trip to Georgia.
Atlanta, just like I pictured it. Beautiful city, where I can get my book written. Poetry published. I seen those homes on rent.com. Beauty, Georgeous. Splendid. What more can I say? Jus get on the train or plane, just do something.
I don't know why I keep running into Homeboy. This time last year I could not have any dealings with him. He can't help it but to use a person. That is all he knows. All I know he is messing with the wrong one, for God has my back. I am sure his grandmama is cookin, she always does. She condones his wrongdoing, I don't. I am my own best friend, that's the way love goes. Thankful to be alive.
I am really tryin to publish this small book of poetry, called "Red Rose, Crimson Beauty" There is something mystical behind it. I know that our lives are valuable to God and to ourselves and we should appreciate it and be thankful to be alive. The red rose is a thing of beauty and so are we. Look up crimson in the dictionary... Are we not thankful to be alive and give God the thanks and appreciation?
Regardless of how family acts, I am going to continue to do my own thing. Unique I am and unique I shall remain. Yes, I am a true artist in every sense of the word. I am doing alright, don't worry bout me, for all I need to do is keep puttin my words on printed page. I have to write about what is ailing me, making me happy, saddens me, touches me, heals me, and etc. When I have those answers, then I can say that I am all right... If I want that full-time gig, I will seek it out, if I want a Ford Focus, I can get it, whatever I want, I can get. From now on, I will not limit myself. The world is a stage so they say, ok let me hop up on that stage and peform!
Giving and rendering thanks, for those with the turkey and trimmings, enjoy your day!
georgia peach
one fine day...
Friday, November 11, 2005
A Celebration of Seven Years
Hello Blog Readers,
Yesterday was my seventh year anniversary of my divorce. I was so at peace because usually in the past I would be super sad. Do you hear me you all? Super sad, but not yesterday! I treated myself to a few things. One treat was the Red, White and Blue thrift. That store is the bomb. I always wondered why it was given such a patriotic name. What was so red, white and blue about it? In any such case, I had a one hour ball in that store. I bought myself 4 pairs of jeans cause I gained some pounds in the hip and waist area and jeans at home were just pulling up or around me. Also, I bought a unique sweater which I cannot describe right now, a journal which had not been written in, a nice handbag(to add to the thousands in my closet), a denim hat with a flower on the front, one pair of earrings, a sun and moon pin, oh I just love the sun and the moon on anything, and a beautiful Japanese portrait which wss valued at 40.00 and it was half price-I got it for $20.00. What possessed me to spend $20.00 on a portrait. First of all, I felt that I was getting a value for it being half-price. I am getting a beautiful $40.00 Japanese portrait for $20.00. Second reasoning was that I love the Japanese culture and how relaxed they are and this lady reminds me of how I want to be. The lady is standing near water with an umbrella in hand, there are trees in the background, and there is a house in the background. Why couldn't that be my house? This woman is at peace. When I got back into the hood at the laundromat, a lady called this portrait: "Peaceful". She even named me Peaceful. This woman is the hood is an alcoholic too and she usually does not say anything but this picture captured her eye. And the third reasoning was that it was my gift to myself for being able to remain alone and content for seven years without the Mr.
I am not finished celebrating for today I want to go to the movies or go to the mall, If I go to the mall, I know exactly which stores I have to go in. A yankee candle from Hallmark, Bath and Body Works, Barnes and Nobles, Payless ( I need a pair of black boots), to wear with my long dresses and skirts(yes, I am tall), and I need to check out about eyeglasses. Oh, the 2006 Poets Market and the Novel and Short Story's Market, that's 50.00 right there. Where's the money coming from? I need to top everything off with a visit to Wendy's the 99 cent menu of course, I'm flat broke!
If I go to the movies, I want a whole row to myself. I want to lay my popcorn over here and my soda over there. (aint I selfish)lol I love watching a big screen tv. If I had a large screen tv at home, I probably would not go to the movies. It is something about the big screen that I love, along with the surround sound.
Right now, I need to get up off my high horse, get over to the stove and cook breakfast. Grits, eggs and sausage (beef)lol, OR 3 pannycakes and 3 eggs along with decaf coffee or tea. BTW, I have not had any decaf tea in a while. I'm hungry, I hate to leave you all so abruptly but I gotta eat, a RICH sistah has to eat...you agree...yeah I thought so. don't ya just luv blogging?
Only bloggers read blogs....right Jackie?
peace until another day,
georgia peach
Yesterday was my seventh year anniversary of my divorce. I was so at peace because usually in the past I would be super sad. Do you hear me you all? Super sad, but not yesterday! I treated myself to a few things. One treat was the Red, White and Blue thrift. That store is the bomb. I always wondered why it was given such a patriotic name. What was so red, white and blue about it? In any such case, I had a one hour ball in that store. I bought myself 4 pairs of jeans cause I gained some pounds in the hip and waist area and jeans at home were just pulling up or around me. Also, I bought a unique sweater which I cannot describe right now, a journal which had not been written in, a nice handbag(to add to the thousands in my closet), a denim hat with a flower on the front, one pair of earrings, a sun and moon pin, oh I just love the sun and the moon on anything, and a beautiful Japanese portrait which wss valued at 40.00 and it was half price-I got it for $20.00. What possessed me to spend $20.00 on a portrait. First of all, I felt that I was getting a value for it being half-price. I am getting a beautiful $40.00 Japanese portrait for $20.00. Second reasoning was that I love the Japanese culture and how relaxed they are and this lady reminds me of how I want to be. The lady is standing near water with an umbrella in hand, there are trees in the background, and there is a house in the background. Why couldn't that be my house? This woman is at peace. When I got back into the hood at the laundromat, a lady called this portrait: "Peaceful". She even named me Peaceful. This woman is the hood is an alcoholic too and she usually does not say anything but this picture captured her eye. And the third reasoning was that it was my gift to myself for being able to remain alone and content for seven years without the Mr.
I am not finished celebrating for today I want to go to the movies or go to the mall, If I go to the mall, I know exactly which stores I have to go in. A yankee candle from Hallmark, Bath and Body Works, Barnes and Nobles, Payless ( I need a pair of black boots), to wear with my long dresses and skirts(yes, I am tall), and I need to check out about eyeglasses. Oh, the 2006 Poets Market and the Novel and Short Story's Market, that's 50.00 right there. Where's the money coming from? I need to top everything off with a visit to Wendy's the 99 cent menu of course, I'm flat broke!
If I go to the movies, I want a whole row to myself. I want to lay my popcorn over here and my soda over there. (aint I selfish)lol I love watching a big screen tv. If I had a large screen tv at home, I probably would not go to the movies. It is something about the big screen that I love, along with the surround sound.
Right now, I need to get up off my high horse, get over to the stove and cook breakfast. Grits, eggs and sausage (beef)lol, OR 3 pannycakes and 3 eggs along with decaf coffee or tea. BTW, I have not had any decaf tea in a while. I'm hungry, I hate to leave you all so abruptly but I gotta eat, a RICH sistah has to eat...you agree...yeah I thought so. don't ya just luv blogging?
Only bloggers read blogs....right Jackie?
peace until another day,
georgia peach
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Three Folxs That I Love
There are three folxs that I love and that I will not allow to put me six feet under. The first one is father. He is the one that is acting strange and I cannot fathom his behavior. He has been off meds for two years and that is hurting me deeply. I know that he needs them in order to behave and function normally in today's society. Not just because I am a psych major but because I am close to my father, this greatly disturbs me. I was always the "pet" you all know what I mean- the special one who is special. I don't know why. The one that was always there for him. The one that felt bad for him when mother mistreated him. Now he is acting like he is young again, feelin his oats like they say, lettin the young gals say any and everything to him that's in the book but not legal, if you know what I mean....One high yella gal got 400.00 out of him to get her car fixed and she didn't get it fixed...I can just wring my hands around her neck, but he's a big boy at 71, wouldn't you say? And she's only 25? He has a grandchild that age, he just bests to go somewhere and sit down, cross his legs and listen to Sam Cooke and the Soul Stirrers like he used to. Now, he has a bad foot, keeps bleedin, running to the e-room day and night only to be sent back home...I guarantee you he does not want to stay even if they offered him to because he just can't sit down because of being in a state of mania. Yes, mania will come to you if you have been off the meds, think you don't need them and you want to run around day and night to the store for your neighbors, charging them when they are seniors just like you are. Love him as he is, I am told. I am tryin, but it is hard when I know that the real Mr. W. would be sittin still chillin somewhere and not scattered all over society. I am going to try again to have him committed because he needs to be on the meds and stabilized again, but in the meantime I have to remain stable to my cause and that is to remain a student and to write,write, write and pray, pray, pray.
Person number two is mother. What is it with her? Of course, I love her. But the issues need to be resolved. I am the oldest daughter and the one that she fears the most. So what if I don't have a Ford Focus, a full-time job with the state, and a home. No, I am a university student, rely on public transportation and I live in what mother would call "the projects." I won't let that define me though, for I live in "low income housing." They can do their thing and I can do mine.
God above knows that I am seekin a better place, but right now I have a roof and no one here interferes directly with my roof. They know what's best, leave Ms. S alone for she has attitude. Yes, sistah has attitude! Y'all used me from the crackhead to the teen, drama queens in between. Let me carry my bookbag, push buggy, Minolta camera, and whatever else I possess...I don't have a drug habit that's me, if y'all do, deal with it, and let me deal with whatever I have to..Cause you people have no respect for others. Yes, mother I have to put up with these conditions and you think I wanna be here, you are wrong, mom dear. I am doing the best I can to get out and I will. God is the judge, the statue-giver and he knows that I am tired. And another thing, I don't have a man, I don't wanna man and I did not say whether I was on the low or not--you ought to know me, people around here never see me with a man now and I know what they think but I could care less! People that pick me up to go places I need to go are women but they are either widows or single women in relationships-but I don't get too close to certain women anyway-they have a way of gossipping all the time. (Sing it to me Stevie, right now) Oh, I can write about now, I write or I die. Not tryin to copy Jackie's style the write or die chick, but her saying is true. If she can't be the poet, she be the poem. Oh, I love her style. I luv to keep people guessin. Guess you all, guess. My lifestyle is one big question mark?????in the ghetto and I like that. I notice though, Mom that a lot of young men in their 20's are starring me up and down, and they are lookin mighty fine, I just have my cute little bouncy walk, different hairstyle for each day of week and I guess they like my style cause I am not caught up in this hood nonsense....Mom, I know you see that I don't have a relationship right now, don't feel guilty cause you blamed me for the "secret" that when revealed an unfair accusation was made. I hate sometimes when that statement comes up, it stings like a bee ( I never been stung, but I know it hurts) A woman 47 don't have to be on the low because she don't have a man and I bet you are comparing me with Uncle J. How smart we are yet quiet about our "lifestyle" I aint talkin. I eat potatoe chips and listen to music at 2am. If necessary, I will get up and dance in the mirror, shaking my hips and a snappin my fingers, (Stevie, keep on singing...keep on singin, I have to cope..in "Pretty Boys," the question was asked of Shanta what did she do for sex and she simply said : "Survive'" well I am no different. I SURVIVE If I survived a yearly secret as a teenager, I can survive now. I had a husband, I had a "young" man after that and I am alright as I am. I am too busy to deal with anyone other than me. I am enough.
My neighborhood son-Homeboy, yeah I miss you but you have to learn the hard way. You know that I always wanted a son and you were the chosen one. Why you, I thought you were special and you still are. You don't fit the bill, tryin to be like the others out there. Yeah, you broke my heart. And you know it and that is why you keep runnin when you see me. You used me until you used me up. And to think: Some people thought you and I*******, boy don't get me started, I will turn this whole neighborhood inside out. They caused me to lose a semester, caused me to lose money, and I can say more all because I was tryin to help you read, rite, rithmetic (lol) Everything I taught you was beneficial for you and you knew it. You are the one with the guilty conscience for I taught you about that. And you give grandma all the credit-the one who knew you were takin advantage of me, the one who knows of all your dealings in the street and she did not protect me from you. She allowed you to use me, I have to pray to God every nite, I do that you don't get hurt out there in those streets. Now, I am back to where I started when I moved in this hood, I have no friends for I thought I had a friend and you were. The only thing you had done wrong was to lie, deceit your way when I ask you not to do so, you used my money for a purpose otherwise intended which could have gotten me into some trouble. I see how you respect me now, you will vacate your premises when you see me. I hope that I am not in your way...I have no where else to go right now...you are in your own way. I was the real mother you never had. You and your sister know better, you know where you should go to get out of this mess here. But this is the life you want, so you are 18 now, you think you are grown now, I cannot help you , ask those so-called friends for help. And at nite like I said when you are in your room and you have no one in the room with you and you are tryin to go to sleep , try prayin to the Creator. You cannot call me, my numbers are changed, you cannot use me ever again for I gave you a year to leap, my book is called: "Leap Year". I really have grown to love you like you were my own and now I know what it feels like to be a "real mother" My heart will never be broken again. By you, or anyone else. I have had enough. I warned you. Well, peace be upon you, sleep tight my neighborhood son. I hand you over to God.
Three folxs who will not put me six feet under....but i love them....
georgia peach
Person number two is mother. What is it with her? Of course, I love her. But the issues need to be resolved. I am the oldest daughter and the one that she fears the most. So what if I don't have a Ford Focus, a full-time job with the state, and a home. No, I am a university student, rely on public transportation and I live in what mother would call "the projects." I won't let that define me though, for I live in "low income housing." They can do their thing and I can do mine.
God above knows that I am seekin a better place, but right now I have a roof and no one here interferes directly with my roof. They know what's best, leave Ms. S alone for she has attitude. Yes, sistah has attitude! Y'all used me from the crackhead to the teen, drama queens in between. Let me carry my bookbag, push buggy, Minolta camera, and whatever else I possess...I don't have a drug habit that's me, if y'all do, deal with it, and let me deal with whatever I have to..Cause you people have no respect for others. Yes, mother I have to put up with these conditions and you think I wanna be here, you are wrong, mom dear. I am doing the best I can to get out and I will. God is the judge, the statue-giver and he knows that I am tired. And another thing, I don't have a man, I don't wanna man and I did not say whether I was on the low or not--you ought to know me, people around here never see me with a man now and I know what they think but I could care less! People that pick me up to go places I need to go are women but they are either widows or single women in relationships-but I don't get too close to certain women anyway-they have a way of gossipping all the time. (Sing it to me Stevie, right now) Oh, I can write about now, I write or I die. Not tryin to copy Jackie's style the write or die chick, but her saying is true. If she can't be the poet, she be the poem. Oh, I love her style. I luv to keep people guessin. Guess you all, guess. My lifestyle is one big question mark?????in the ghetto and I like that. I notice though, Mom that a lot of young men in their 20's are starring me up and down, and they are lookin mighty fine, I just have my cute little bouncy walk, different hairstyle for each day of week and I guess they like my style cause I am not caught up in this hood nonsense....Mom, I know you see that I don't have a relationship right now, don't feel guilty cause you blamed me for the "secret" that when revealed an unfair accusation was made. I hate sometimes when that statement comes up, it stings like a bee ( I never been stung, but I know it hurts) A woman 47 don't have to be on the low because she don't have a man and I bet you are comparing me with Uncle J. How smart we are yet quiet about our "lifestyle" I aint talkin. I eat potatoe chips and listen to music at 2am. If necessary, I will get up and dance in the mirror, shaking my hips and a snappin my fingers, (Stevie, keep on singing...keep on singin, I have to cope..in "Pretty Boys," the question was asked of Shanta what did she do for sex and she simply said : "Survive'" well I am no different. I SURVIVE If I survived a yearly secret as a teenager, I can survive now. I had a husband, I had a "young" man after that and I am alright as I am. I am too busy to deal with anyone other than me. I am enough.
My neighborhood son-Homeboy, yeah I miss you but you have to learn the hard way. You know that I always wanted a son and you were the chosen one. Why you, I thought you were special and you still are. You don't fit the bill, tryin to be like the others out there. Yeah, you broke my heart. And you know it and that is why you keep runnin when you see me. You used me until you used me up. And to think: Some people thought you and I*******, boy don't get me started, I will turn this whole neighborhood inside out. They caused me to lose a semester, caused me to lose money, and I can say more all because I was tryin to help you read, rite, rithmetic (lol) Everything I taught you was beneficial for you and you knew it. You are the one with the guilty conscience for I taught you about that. And you give grandma all the credit-the one who knew you were takin advantage of me, the one who knows of all your dealings in the street and she did not protect me from you. She allowed you to use me, I have to pray to God every nite, I do that you don't get hurt out there in those streets. Now, I am back to where I started when I moved in this hood, I have no friends for I thought I had a friend and you were. The only thing you had done wrong was to lie, deceit your way when I ask you not to do so, you used my money for a purpose otherwise intended which could have gotten me into some trouble. I see how you respect me now, you will vacate your premises when you see me. I hope that I am not in your way...I have no where else to go right now...you are in your own way. I was the real mother you never had. You and your sister know better, you know where you should go to get out of this mess here. But this is the life you want, so you are 18 now, you think you are grown now, I cannot help you , ask those so-called friends for help. And at nite like I said when you are in your room and you have no one in the room with you and you are tryin to go to sleep , try prayin to the Creator. You cannot call me, my numbers are changed, you cannot use me ever again for I gave you a year to leap, my book is called: "Leap Year". I really have grown to love you like you were my own and now I know what it feels like to be a "real mother" My heart will never be broken again. By you, or anyone else. I have had enough. I warned you. Well, peace be upon you, sleep tight my neighborhood son. I hand you over to God.
Three folxs who will not put me six feet under....but i love them....
georgia peach
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Sweet Potatoe Pie and Banana Puddin
I just love sweet potatoe pie and a little banana puddin with the real vanilla wafers. Anyone out there can make some for me? Pretty please...Ok I will just have to wait and see, for what does this Jerzee gal know about bakin? Huh..dunno.
It has been a hectic week from Monday to Wednesday going on the train traveling to the hospital's dental clinic to take care of my denistry needs. Monday, I did not have enough antibiotics in me to let the dentist work on me. So, I had to come back on Wednesday but it was a day of great releif to have a tooth that could not be saved-taken a care of . Right now, I am still swelling in the jawline and have a little pain-don't want to go to sleep for those nightmares and stupid, yes stupid dreams. I NEED PAIN MED RIGHT ABOUT NOW, A SISTAH NEEDS TO SLEEP....
On Monday, I stopped by the university to see the world's most positive person that I could think of and that is Michelle. She is the dean of students that I had entrusted to me while I was in her care and keeping. I was given many trinklets n gifts that day, so it wasn't a wasted Monday by a long shot, for I caught a train right back home and the rest is history...
I am doing so well in my computer concepts class, whew A's on my quizzes and homework, I just have to study my health book a little bit a more and I will be doing a all right. It's time to select classes for next term and that will be computer science and math, photography and art. I must prepare myself for those kids in the future that will need me .
I started reading"Pretty Boys.'" It makes for excellent reading. I am identifying myself with Shanta, the photographer already. I need a plumb job in At-lan-tuh, doing some photo-shoots. Working with digital cameras and computerizing the photos is my thing.. Drawing is another thing. I like doing lots of things. Photos and picutres are 2 things in addition to psychology and poetry. I am to be a Creative Therapist. I am to create my title.... I am a creative person who serves a grand Creator.
It is time to hit the nest. I will play a spiritual tape or some christian music to set the tone for m sleep. Outside of my realm lies trouble, I don't want no trouble. I got work to do on Friday which is today. Good morning, yooooalll....the world is awaiting your gifts and talents.......and
I am awaiting Dom's sweet potatoe pies and Jackie's banana puddin with the real wafers.
peace
It has been a hectic week from Monday to Wednesday going on the train traveling to the hospital's dental clinic to take care of my denistry needs. Monday, I did not have enough antibiotics in me to let the dentist work on me. So, I had to come back on Wednesday but it was a day of great releif to have a tooth that could not be saved-taken a care of . Right now, I am still swelling in the jawline and have a little pain-don't want to go to sleep for those nightmares and stupid, yes stupid dreams. I NEED PAIN MED RIGHT ABOUT NOW, A SISTAH NEEDS TO SLEEP....
On Monday, I stopped by the university to see the world's most positive person that I could think of and that is Michelle. She is the dean of students that I had entrusted to me while I was in her care and keeping. I was given many trinklets n gifts that day, so it wasn't a wasted Monday by a long shot, for I caught a train right back home and the rest is history...
I am doing so well in my computer concepts class, whew A's on my quizzes and homework, I just have to study my health book a little bit a more and I will be doing a all right. It's time to select classes for next term and that will be computer science and math, photography and art. I must prepare myself for those kids in the future that will need me .
I started reading"Pretty Boys.'" It makes for excellent reading. I am identifying myself with Shanta, the photographer already. I need a plumb job in At-lan-tuh, doing some photo-shoots. Working with digital cameras and computerizing the photos is my thing.. Drawing is another thing. I like doing lots of things. Photos and picutres are 2 things in addition to psychology and poetry. I am to be a Creative Therapist. I am to create my title.... I am a creative person who serves a grand Creator.
It is time to hit the nest. I will play a spiritual tape or some christian music to set the tone for m sleep. Outside of my realm lies trouble, I don't want no trouble. I got work to do on Friday which is today. Good morning, yooooalll....the world is awaiting your gifts and talents.......and
I am awaiting Dom's sweet potatoe pies and Jackie's banana puddin with the real wafers.
peace
Friday, October 21, 2005
My Soul I Gotta Save
It has been some end of the week, Thursday and Friday. It has been like staying at home-not being on a schedule. I have been waking up like 9 in the morning, having slept so hard that I did not want to get up. (ok Homegirl, below me keep it up, I cannot spend 30 years to life for nonsense) So, I had to work really hard both of these days not to say anything to that person that lives beneath me, for fear that there may be a side of me that will really reveal itself to these neighbors and then they will say: "Is that Miss W, oh my god listen to her, I did not know she could talk like that, or act like that." But there is a scripture at Eccles 7:7, that says that "mere oppression can make a wise one act crazy." So you see, when a person who is wise in how they usually act, suddenly displays a side that is questioned, it is usually because that person has been pushed beyond their normal limits. Please, please, please y'all in this hood don't push me! God has a plan in the making and that includes moving. I have no friends in this hood, but my computer and I am begging it not to get a virus. This computer is about 3 weeks old and it just bests to behave. It is my morning glory, for after I say a prayer to God for allowing me to step a foot on the floor in the morning, to see another day, I turn that computer on. Let me give her a name. Let's name my computer"Georgia Peach" That seems to be the name of the day, the order of the day. Everything seems to be about a peach, headed2atlanta@yahoo.com, peaches, for I sound so serious about Atlanta, don't I? Well, if it is God's will, that's where I am going to end up...Yes, but right now, I need to vacate these premises. My soul needs saving, words save my soul, rescue me, Calgon take me away, oh do you hear me now.
Well, I have been doing some quizzes and doing well on them in the computer course. I am really enjoying them, on the web. They are 45 minutes long, 30 multiple/choice and true/false and I love my results. I am going to be alllllrrrriiigggghhhttt.. is that a word? In the health course, I had a test last Wednesday and did so-so, but i tell you this, I am going to do extra work in the back of the chapters in addition to the exams because I want a decent grade--no I don't have to be that "A"student like the past when I would not take anything else, all I want is to pass with a "decent" grade which would mean I have gotten all I could out of the course and have done the very best that I could. As long as I have my friend here, Georgia Peach and continue to study the bible and make application in my life, God will not allow me to make any mistakes in the hood, stooping down to the level of a 6 year old with the nonsense. Efforts have been intensified to MOVE AWAY FROM HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Georgia Peach has been working hard now, she must turn herself off and I will turn her back on in the later hours of Saturday morning, just have to wait for the man to bring my Avon delivery, I will go to the thrift store for some (new to me, items that i need) gettin cold out here. I need a dress for Sunday morn. Well thanks for visiting and come back and visit Georgia Peach again. ...hopefully I will sleep, push comes to worse Stevie Womder on my ears, real low and mellow......nite nite
Well, I have been doing some quizzes and doing well on them in the computer course. I am really enjoying them, on the web. They are 45 minutes long, 30 multiple/choice and true/false and I love my results. I am going to be alllllrrrriiigggghhhttt.. is that a word? In the health course, I had a test last Wednesday and did so-so, but i tell you this, I am going to do extra work in the back of the chapters in addition to the exams because I want a decent grade--no I don't have to be that "A"student like the past when I would not take anything else, all I want is to pass with a "decent" grade which would mean I have gotten all I could out of the course and have done the very best that I could. As long as I have my friend here, Georgia Peach and continue to study the bible and make application in my life, God will not allow me to make any mistakes in the hood, stooping down to the level of a 6 year old with the nonsense. Efforts have been intensified to MOVE AWAY FROM HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Georgia Peach has been working hard now, she must turn herself off and I will turn her back on in the later hours of Saturday morning, just have to wait for the man to bring my Avon delivery, I will go to the thrift store for some (new to me, items that i need) gettin cold out here. I need a dress for Sunday morn. Well thanks for visiting and come back and visit Georgia Peach again. ...hopefully I will sleep, push comes to worse Stevie Womder on my ears, real low and mellow......nite nite
Monday, October 17, 2005
Being Positive, Enjoying My Paradise
Ok, I am going to talk positive after I just say a little something about what happened this am, causing me not to want to get up, but I must remember my motivations. I am a college/university student, I am a poet, I am a budding and aspiring writer seeking to grow and improve, which involves me entering contests and submissions using my wildest imagination. Maybe I should also write one about a paradise. Anyone ever wonder about what a paradise means? It means seeing conditions in a beautiful setting where there is no crime, wickedness, sickness, corruptness, and all of the things that you see going on today. All persons will be able to get along with no hatred and competition. A beautiful scene, just picture yourself there.
My living room is like a paradise in a ghetto land. It has beautiful dolls, lamps that I treasure with beautiful shades, a nice chair that I can sit in, books that I need to read and meditate on, flowers that I am glad to see "now", oh and I have beautiful candles and pillows to lounge on. Dolls and teddies to accent the place. So, I hurry and scurry to get back to my little place of "paradise". But to get here, I have to pass my the "urine smell" on the carpet on the first floor, the slickness and sly ways of a neighbor on the second and once that goes through, I hit my door with my key and thank God that I made it home. Whatever happened to the natural love for neighbor, it is gone for the bible is fulfilling it's prophecy. So, I mut continue to walk by faith and not by sight, for if I continue to walk by sight, I will get in trouble. Anyone dealing and wheeling with the nonsense and trying to be sly with me I have no use for. As a matter of fact, God and myself are handling the situation alone and we are doing just fine without the neighbors. All I owe them is the love from the Bible. And that is from a distance. Never again will they be trusted.
I am going to finish this evening with typing more poetry on my poety site, do my Avon order and I must do some of my homework and get my bills together, for they must be paid by next week. Oh and I must call some places after 9 and leave messages to try to move away from here and pray for God's direction with that. I hope for no more unwanted messages for I did follow instructions for them to be removed. Thanks, Marcus!
georgia peach
My living room is like a paradise in a ghetto land. It has beautiful dolls, lamps that I treasure with beautiful shades, a nice chair that I can sit in, books that I need to read and meditate on, flowers that I am glad to see "now", oh and I have beautiful candles and pillows to lounge on. Dolls and teddies to accent the place. So, I hurry and scurry to get back to my little place of "paradise". But to get here, I have to pass my the "urine smell" on the carpet on the first floor, the slickness and sly ways of a neighbor on the second and once that goes through, I hit my door with my key and thank God that I made it home. Whatever happened to the natural love for neighbor, it is gone for the bible is fulfilling it's prophecy. So, I mut continue to walk by faith and not by sight, for if I continue to walk by sight, I will get in trouble. Anyone dealing and wheeling with the nonsense and trying to be sly with me I have no use for. As a matter of fact, God and myself are handling the situation alone and we are doing just fine without the neighbors. All I owe them is the love from the Bible. And that is from a distance. Never again will they be trusted.
I am going to finish this evening with typing more poetry on my poety site, do my Avon order and I must do some of my homework and get my bills together, for they must be paid by next week. Oh and I must call some places after 9 and leave messages to try to move away from here and pray for God's direction with that. I hope for no more unwanted messages for I did follow instructions for them to be removed. Thanks, Marcus!
georgia peach
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Ghetto Isms, Night Shift
They don't wake up it seems until the evening. Night Queen starts that in and out thing all nite long and I will try to go to sleep. What helps me are my meds amd music. The other persons are in the street trade and they don't have any respect for us who are tryin to sleep, doors are allowed to slam and I am tired of the bs. I use to have Stevie Wonder on my ears but now I don't use the ear phones on my ears to go to sleep. I really don't want to go to sleep because my dreams are so vivid. They are about real situations in my life. But no thank you to a dream about this hood, which I can't wait to vacate. It is hard to put effort in tryin to move when you are tryin to study but hey--it's gonna happen sooner or later, hopefully sooner.
Nails got refilled today, I treated myself and got necessities which were pantyhose, toiletries and necessities. A yard sale had a lamp I needed and as I glance over it with the purple bulb, it is sharp, just like I dress, sharp. Pretty fine. My living quarters are quaint, somewhat crowded but God keeps me. I need to be going to bed now beause I must get up at six. Sunday mornings I am up when that alarm rings. I need to hear what my heavenly father has to say to me, that's important. I must apply the Bible in my life so as to gain wisdom. Yeah, they can slam doors all night but I am going to blow out this Yankee candle-Home, sweet home is the fragrance-oops, there goes another dooor slammer. I am going to take my meds, and let the radio put me to sleep after prayer, of course.
goodnite, intentionally spelled that way.......
georgia peach
Nails got refilled today, I treated myself and got necessities which were pantyhose, toiletries and necessities. A yard sale had a lamp I needed and as I glance over it with the purple bulb, it is sharp, just like I dress, sharp. Pretty fine. My living quarters are quaint, somewhat crowded but God keeps me. I need to be going to bed now beause I must get up at six. Sunday mornings I am up when that alarm rings. I need to hear what my heavenly father has to say to me, that's important. I must apply the Bible in my life so as to gain wisdom. Yeah, they can slam doors all night but I am going to blow out this Yankee candle-Home, sweet home is the fragrance-oops, there goes another dooor slammer. I am going to take my meds, and let the radio put me to sleep after prayer, of course.
goodnite, intentionally spelled that way.......
georgia peach
Thursday, October 13, 2005
No syrup for the pancakes???
Hello........I am feeling somewhat tired bout now. Had a good day, a good tired. First of all, the pancakes that I fixed with the eggs, I discovered that I did not have syrup. I did not care what brand it could have been, just bring me some syrup. Grandma used to have that good ole Alaga-that thick down home syrruppp. I can't spell it, it's time to go to la-la land. Do y'all know where that is? I have been scared to go to sleep ever since I dreamed about being pregnant by Homeboy and the baby was stillbirth, it would not come out....Well I had a good day-- despite the rain, my heart is full of sunglow because I refuse to let these and those folks irritate me to no end. I typed my fingers off today and you would think that I am tired at 12:30am. Well, I have to get back to the old routine of going to bed at 11:30pm. I need that beauty rest...Like Mocha said I have to treat myself good, I don't need comments that I don't ask for and etc. etc. etc. Well, life is going alright for I am a pioneer in my own might . I am strong, invincible, I am woman. I am the georgia peach, I love peaches and Atlanta is waitin on me. Oh, I will get there, sooner or later, likely sooner. Let me get my dental situation out of the way. I want to smile again for I am tired of waiting for the tooth fairy. In the child hood times, we used to leave a tooth under the pillow and wait for the fairy godmother, now we get an extraction and the tooth is no longer in one piece and the dentist throws it away. (Homegirl just slammed her door, that's alright y'all, I got my computer and I am above that and God has my back. I am not stooping low to nonsense. Drugs are being sold beneath my feet, God knows it and so does the undercover detectives....Ok now. I missed TJ today, I hope she is alright, I am thinking of Marcus but I am sure that he is busy doing good things and making progress. I hope Bernadene is relaxing and enjoying her trip. Well, I learned a new word (ecru) . Ok it's time for me to go to bed for sure....see ya on the other side...
(sleepin with my dolls and teddies)
pocahontas
(sleepin with my dolls and teddies)
pocahontas
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
A Student I Am, But I'm Enjoying My Writing More
It's amazin what we really want to do in life. I know that I want to be that therapist, yes I do without a doubt. However, why is it that I am so active with Prolific and Black Writers United?
I am very active with Prolific Writers. Has anyone ever looked up the definition of a prolific writer? Sure sounds good to me. In the year 2000, I was told that I was a "prolific writer" by my Creative Writer instructor, who was quite younger than I. I went home and looked the word up and I was delighted by what I read. Me, oh me? Yes, you! Ok....get busy. We kept journals and we ended up handing a portfolio in. And would you like to know that I was the only brown face in the class. Ok, get behind me inner critic. It did not matter, for all of them respected me in the end. They did not know how to comprehend me in the beginning. They were just as afraid as I was.
Well, it is late and like I said writing comsumes me. Or shall I say, Overconsumes me. My new Writer's Digest is to the left of me, my new backpack to the right, still packed from the day. I have been busy with Prolific's Poetry day which was quite nice. I will be doing a review on Thursday for one of the books. Of course, with music in the background..........
pocahontas
(a future georgia peach)
I am very active with Prolific Writers. Has anyone ever looked up the definition of a prolific writer? Sure sounds good to me. In the year 2000, I was told that I was a "prolific writer" by my Creative Writer instructor, who was quite younger than I. I went home and looked the word up and I was delighted by what I read. Me, oh me? Yes, you! Ok....get busy. We kept journals and we ended up handing a portfolio in. And would you like to know that I was the only brown face in the class. Ok, get behind me inner critic. It did not matter, for all of them respected me in the end. They did not know how to comprehend me in the beginning. They were just as afraid as I was.
Well, it is late and like I said writing comsumes me. Or shall I say, Overconsumes me. My new Writer's Digest is to the left of me, my new backpack to the right, still packed from the day. I have been busy with Prolific's Poetry day which was quite nice. I will be doing a review on Thursday for one of the books. Of course, with music in the background..........
pocahontas
(a future georgia peach)
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